I smile and say, "No problem," when inside my head I'm shooting imaginary darts tipped with green poison from my eyes while using every obscene gesture possible until my imaginary hands are paralyzed with exhaustion.
Here's me, being real. For just a few minutes.
* Today at lunch we played "If You Decided to Go Postal and Shoot Up the Office, Name the Three People You'd Kill." I had no problem coming up with my first target. At all. I'd pull the trigger with no qualms. The other two on my list were a little harder. You have to really hate someone to want to kill them, so my remaining choices ended up being the kind of people where I wouldn't hunt them down specifically, but if I saw them at the back of the pack running away from me down the hall, I'd definitely take a potshot or two.
* I don't like super-strong old-lady perfume. Someone here wears it. My nose is assaulted every time I walk to the restroom. My cube neighbor feels the same, and today he came back to his desk and said, "It doesn't smell like old-lady in here. It's funeral home. Like, dead people's makeup." I'm keeping that. DPM. A perfect description for so many things.
* I thought I was going to win today. But I didn't, and I was mad. When I said, "Good game everyone," I was really thinking, "Maybe I want to change my list of three people."
* In Spanish, the word Sudan means "they sweat." I think that's funny. It's really hot in Africa.
* Last night, while watching How it's Made, I kept giggling like a fourth grader every time the narrator said, "P.U. leather" (when describing the special materials they use in making goalie pads).
* I often do surveys online and I lie a lot, especially when my answers are making me seem lazy/unmotivated/loser-ish—or when I want to feel more successful in life than I really am.
Whew. Sometimes honesty feels good, even when it's bad.
Muskrat Susie's gone downhill since she started hitting the pipe.
1 comment:
One of those days, eh? Me too... we'll have to get together and compare "postal shooting" lists.
Post a Comment